Photostory Friday and some M&M's

Today's photos are of me, this one taken by me -yesterday. Now, let me tell you that I am totally and completely camera shy. I don't like taking pictures and hardly ever let anyone see them if they are taken. (I am totally sunburned btw after a way too-long day at the pool.) I'm posting this picture because of the next picture you are about to see of me. This is HUGE for me that I am posting this today. My sister is probably about to pass out--she knows my fear. Anyway, you'll see why it is important that you know what I look like today--not that I think I'm some kind of super model by any means, it's just that when Sophie was born.....**sigh**....it's very important that you know that is NOT what I look like in real life. It wasn't pretty OR fun.

After posting the story of Bunny Bear, I was reminded of all of the glorious pregnancy memories I have. Except that my story is not as much glorious as it is glamorous--NOT. You see, when I was pregnant I had the pleasure of pre-eclampsia along with gestational diabetes. Good times.
By the time Sophie was born, I had topped out at a whopping 241 pounds! and I was gaining one pound a day.

here we go......

(sucking in breath) Ouch! Every time I see this. **Sigh** Her being born is still my # 1 greatest lifetime achievement though--even though I weigh the same as a small kindergarten brownie troup. The picture was taken the day after she was born. I know I lost at least 7 pounds 7 oz. but I don't think much else. I WAS HUGE!!!!!!!! Look at how perfect little Sophie looks though. What a doll, right from the start. I figure the sicker I got, the prettier she got and was born spectacularly beautiful!

Here's my story:

6 days before she was born, I was sent to the hospital until I had a baby in my hands-the docs thought I had at least 3 weeks to go. (I had high blood pressure, questionable kidneys, and a potentially failing liver. Nothing like organ failure to really make childbirth exciting!)
4 days before she was born, I. was. starving. I know, it's hard to believe, but really starving. Because of the diabetes, they put me on a totally restricted menu and didn't give me enough food to feed a bird. Each night, the kitchen would send around a menu with options for the next days' food. I would circle ALL of the options for every meal-even though I was only allowed 1 choice. I was so pissing off the kitchen. Ha ha ha--I'm allowed to have my fun.
Anyway, they would have to call up right before each meal because they were confused. "do you want the jello or the 3 oz orange juice? We can't give you ice cream or all of them-you're a diabetic."
Me: No sh*t! You don't say? Well, it's only cuz I'm preggers. I want ice cream.
Kitchen: Sorry you are not allowed.
Me: Says who?
Kitchen: Um, well, hang on, let me find out. (obviously confused)
(hehehehehehehe that's me giggling like Garfield--if they don't feed me I might just be a little hilarious, make that hysterical!)
Kitchen: Doctors orders.
Me: Which one?
Kitchen: Um, oh, (which one she wants to know--he's asking someone right next to him) Your doctor--We'll just choose for you.
Me: OK you do that.
From then on someone went through the menu and crossed out all of my choices.
Yeah, the kitchen loved me. Well, my MIL smuggled in some homemade banana bread, and the nurses just couldn't figure out why my blood sugars were so off. Heheheheheh. More Fun.
The next day my husband snuck in some M&M's for me after the stupid non-breakfast they served. I was so happy I saved them until it was safe. Around 11AM I figured I had 15 minutes before another nurse came in (yeah EVERY 15 minutes to check my blood pressure--for 6 days-including all night long!) The doctor had already been in earlier so no worries there. It was just me and my mom at the time, so I pounced on the candy. MMMMMMM MMMMMMMM GOOOOOOOOD!
Well,
I had an unexpected visit right as I was about to throw a handful of the yummy goodness in my mouth. (I was hiding the bag in the nightstand) It was the head doctor of the NICU (um that's neo-natal intensive care) -pretty important guy. He wanted to talk to me about what was going to happen with Sophie, what they do, who HE was, why he was in my room, blah blah blah. He talked for like 20 minutes. All I could think about were the M&M's in my hand, that I couldn't eat in front of this guy.
The nurse had come in and taken my blood pressure all the while I had my other hand clenched in a fist to hide the illegal candy.
Finally this doc says, Do you want to take a tour of the NICU so you are more prepared?
Me: Um yes, but I would like to wait for my husband to come back so he can be with me. (Thank GOD he wasn't there right then.)
Doc: Well, OK, but this afternoon I'll be in surgery, so if you want to wait until Monday, that would be fine too.
Me: Thanks for stopping by. I know my daughter will be in good hands. (Even though I also know she won't need your good hands to help her! Now please go away so I can eat my M&M's!!! Dammit~!
He finally left. Finally. I started to cry. Again. I had cried a bunch over the last couple of days. My mom just looked at me and said, "Don't worry the baby will be fine-are you sure you don't want to just go now and see the NICU while the doctor is still here? He seems really nice and concerned that you don't freak out."
Me: That's not why I'm crying Mom.
Mom: What's wrong?
Me: They DO melt in your hands. Look! I held out my hand and all of my precious yummy deliciousness had melted into a tye-dyed puddle of goo in my hand. I contemplated licking it. But I didn't.
My mother was too busy rolling on the floor laughing to help me wash my hand off.
Damn Doctors!!!

I am so self-conscience about these pictures, I'm sure! Let's compare a little bit; I played around with picnik so I had to throw in this picture too. See the hands? Soooo puffy that they had to call in an anesthesiologist to put in my IV's. About 5 nurses tried to find the vein, but after a million pokes they couldn't, so a guy came in to numb me up good so they could literally dig with a giant needle for the vein. GOOD TIMES!
The thing that struck me the most (besides the size of me and my greasy gross hair,) was my glasses. They are the same ones I am wearing now.

Yeah, I'm thinking contacts too! Or at least some new glasses for God's sake! Ugh. If you comment, please be kind; my self-esteem thanks you.

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