Seriously.......

I used to think there was a conspiracy against parents by the toy companies (specifically their packaging departments) but now I think it actually got started by the creators of preschool programming. I still want to know what they have against parents.

Recently Sophie has been totally into rhyming words. We are reading Dr. Seuss like he's going out of style and she is loving every minute of it! She will go about her day rhyming away--dog rhymes with hog--cat rhymes with bat--and so on. Plus, if she stumbles upon a rhyme accidentally I get to see that Christmas face again: MOMMY--petal rhymes with kettle!

Wow, that is something:) We were making flowers out of jelly beans on our giant Easter cookie eggs.
Oh, she also likes to make up rhyming words by changing the first letter: cattle, mattle, dattle, tattle...she thinks this is tons of fun!


My only question to these clever creators of preschool shows is this: Why in the world did you name one of the Wonder Pets -- TUCK???!!!!

PSF: Right Now

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I'm not the happiest of people immediately after opening my eyes in the morning. BUT,

When Sophie wakes up--you'd think she was rushing to see if Santa came --every morning. I usually give a cheerful 'good morning' or a quick little 'hey sleepy head!' That's about all I can muster up until I'm fully awake.

However,

I've noticed that if I give her an enthusiastic "HEDDOE Butter Bee--How are ya?" As if I haven't seen her in two years--she always -always- breaks into gigantic smiles and giggles and comes running to give spontaneous hugs and kisses. ALWAYS--just like it's Christmas morning.


It doesn't matter that the house isn't clean, or her playroom doesn't exist yet, or her stubborn cold just won't go away, or that it's cloudy and cold AGAIN outside, or she won't get to go to the zoo yet, or that she didn't get to play her favorite game last night, or that I said NO to the millionth cookie that she wanted instead of dinner last night.


None of that matters because she lives in the moment. She is concerned with being happy right NOW.
Not tomorrow because it's not here yet and not yesterday because she knows it's gone and doesn't give it a second thought.

My new goal: make that' Christmas Morning' face appear on my little mouse as often as possible and start learning everything I can from my offspring who is most noticeably smarter than me.

So in the words of the great Van Halen--Right Now is Everything!

Life is good!

Paying it Forward to.....

Congratulations to Corey! @ Living and Loving Every Minute of It!

It won't be hard to follow Corey's blog with her gorgeous pictures of her little Sugar Bear, all of her infinite mommy wisdom, and her love and expertise for photography that she is happy to share. She's got one cool blog and she is a great blogger friend. Thanks to everyone who was interested in the book, and please don't forget to follow Corey so you can get another chance to play!

I had written every one's name on a sticky note and put them in a basket and had Sophie pull the winner.


Sophie: "Why am I doing this?"
ME: "So I can give away a book."
Sophie: "Can I have jelly beans?"



So, Sophie wasn't exactly interested--but I know a bunch of you out there are, so keep an eye on Corey because she will be paying-it-forward when she's done.
Thanks for playing!!!!

PSF: Relax Mommy, I'm ready.....

You're ready. Really? Am I ready?


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Once again, Sophie has proven to me that all of her developmental milestones happen naturally. Sure, I need to provide certain tools and encouragement but eventually she always chooses to move forward and try out her sea legs when it's time to grow.
Of course, for months before she makes the decision I am always sweating, worrying, sometimes even defending why I haven't done something about it sooner-to the people I think follow the real status quo, or what's "normal."

Here are my big examples:

1. At about 2 1/2 Sophie still drank one last bottle before bed. Did I push? Nope. One night she just said, I don't want to drink a bottle. OK. That was that. No more bottles. sniff.

2. When it was time to be diaper-free, she again made the decision. OK, Mommy, I'm ready to just wear the undies. OK. That was that. No more diapers. sniff.

3. Out of the blue, before I even thought about it, she decided all on her own that she wanted to take showers instead of baths. What? OK, That was that. No more bathtub. sniff (she did recently re-discover the joys of the tub, and will choose a bath 'just for fun' sometimes. phew!)

4. The doctor's office has always been tough but for her 4 year old appointment, she boldly announced to me that, "I will be brave Mommy, and I'm not scared." Normally, I have to surprise her by just taking her, and bribes of sprinkle donuts and skittles are always involved. Not this time. Not only was she brave as she flew through the check-up with flying colors, but she also even dared to take a peek in a pediatric dentist office on the second floor of the building. OK. That was that. No more bribery for health. sniff.

5. Last night at bedtime I offered the option for the millionth time to try sleeping in her own big-girl bed, and she quickly said, OK Mommy, I'm ready. OK. That was that. No more co-sleeping. No more family bed. big giant sniffs!

After it was lights out- see you in the morning- you're the best big girl in the world- sleep tight-I love you, she totally fell asleep. (Oh, and she announced that she will be the best big sister if new baby is a girl, and the best big brother if new baby is a boy!)

What? Hold it--you're not supposed to be ready yet, I'm not ready yet. But I didn't say that.
My entire reason for not pushing on these matters was that I wanted Sophie to be emotionally ready for the changes, not just physically. I've always gone slow and at Sophie's pace--so that she can appreciate and welcome change--not be afraid of it.
Well, that's all fine and dandy, and these examples are giving me glimpses that I am accomplishing my goals--but I forgot one little thing--ME!

I'm was a complete mess. Seriously. I wasn't ready for her to be on her own last night. I offered it, but I didn't really think she would do it. Holy Crap.
I was downstairs happily watching my favorite Grey's Anatomy, completely uninterrupted, when all of a sudden I had big boo-hoo tears running down my cheeks. Where's Sophie? Oh yeah, sound asleep in her own room like every normal 4 year old. I dreaded going to bed. I wasn't ready.
I dragged myself up anyway. I brought up our at bedtime Popsicle and popped in my comforting Gilmore Girls. I couldn't relax, couldn't sleep, and I missed Sophie ridiculously.
So around 10:30 I went back downstairs to sit with my husband who was shocked that I was still awake.
I realized then that I was experiencing the exact kind of anxiety change can bring when you don't know it's coming. I wasn't so sure I could handle it and I knew I didn't want to go back to bed anytime soon. So, I put on some eating T.V.--Triple D from the food network, and ate my way into exhaustion: pepperoni, bread & butter pickles, and jelly beans. Yep-I'm preggers all right. All of the emotions I was having were what I had been trying to spare Sophie from--at least until she's old enough to handle it.

It was then I finally got it that I am the one who is old enough to handle it. So off to bed I went.
It was so weird. The hallway bathroom light on-the bedroom doors propped open just a smidgen, and every in their own room happily dreaming away. SO WEIRD! The dog was excited though. He came up on the bed and sat right in the middle where Sophie's pillow used to be--and put his head on my pillow.

Alright, I guess I can be grown-up about all of this. I am the mom after all. OK. That IS that. No more baby. sniff.

PSF: It's official:)

Sophie's smarter than me,
AND she's not even 4 yet! Here's the evidence:

(at dinner last Sunday, pizza night) Sophie: Can I have a root beer too?

Me: Sure kiddo, just leave it at the table, please don't take it in the family room.

Sophie: Why not?

Me: Because it might spill.

Sophie: You take yours in the family room, annnd I've seen it spill!

Want to know how my outstanding, patient, spectacular, self answered?
Because I said so~! Then I went on to calmly yet matter-of-factly say, "When you pay the bills, feel free to do whatever you want. Until then I say." (like I'm some sort of big shot)

When did I turn into my parents?
big heavy sigh.

The picture doesn't match the story, but I was just too plain flabbergasted during that particular moment to snap a pic of her brillance, so I choose a more happily-go-lucky one this week. THis one cracks me up with those ears!






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PSF: Would you like stamps or our extreme value today?

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This is the latest pic of Sophie. To me, even though the quality of the photo isn't great, she has lost all of her 'baby" and is officially a big-girl. The best big-girl on the planet I have to say.

I'm contemplating --no make that WORRYING--some of these 'big girl' changes that are about to take place: school, naps, night sleeping, portable comforts, etc; Sophie doesn't even notice much, yet I am freaking out.

I'm not ready for her to go to school yet. OK? There. I said it. I'll miss her. There are still things that need to be done, like outings to the zoo and bicycle trips to the arboretum. Now that I have the big truck we'll be able to cart her new 'big girl' bicycle and my bicycle + the trailer if she wants --anywhere we want to go. I can't wait. Adding preschool would just make her schedule a little too chaotic for both of us and the bike-rides & zoo just wouldn't take precedent over school.

So let's forget school. She's still only 3 after all. Time for me to make the most of it. She got a new shopping cart and a cash register for Christmas, so we are having a blast shopping right now-we've literally spent hours taking turns buying groceries. SO MUCH FUN! And not only are we getting in some good people skills like politeness, manners, and courtesy, but we also work on math;money-quantities-addition-oh yeah, number recognition, AND problem solving like figuring out if you need to buy one or two boxes of cereal and such. For me this is better than school. We both love it.

However, come April, her daddy will most likely no longer be working from home, so there is the danger of zero mommy time which makes mommy not-so-happy after awhile.

Preschool doesn't sound too bad when I put it that way.

I think the best compromise will be to find a school that she can attend once a week until the fall when she can join a 'real' preschool and go three days a week. I'm sure I'll be ready by then--I mean Sophie will be ready.

Now, all I have to do is find the place and once she's turn the magic '4' we're all set.
Phew. I can stop worrying now. Thank God. I was really stressed and only because I forgot my own rule that everything happens naturally. I don't need to push, fight, or manipulate as long as I am showing Sophie a good example of how to live. You know, "parent" her. Easy right? When will I learn?

For example, she choose to stop drinking a bottle on her own time-I didn't need to fight or 'wean' at all--it was all so simple, natural, and absolutely no big deal.
I did however waste several months on the 'OMG, my 2 year old still has a bottle' nonsense in my head.

For another example, Sophie choose to rid herself of her diapers--again--on her own time. I did give a slight push last summer when I said "absolutely no diapers in the swimming pool," but after that I just let her be --and before I knew it I heard the magic words, "Mommy, I want to wear my undies all the time now!"

Too bad I spent almost 6 months really sweating my incredibly tall 2 year old in diapers-constantly worried about all of the 'looks' I would get and the disdain from other would-be-friend moms that I couldn't be friends with because my daughter was not yet potty trained and couldn't attend certain classes.

Then Sophie turned 3 and I endured another 4 months of uncomfortable hell, until I let nature take it's course and she finally lost the diapers for good.

SO why am I worried about preschool? 'Cause it's how I roll. I'm also currently worried about where she sleeps at night-family or baby bed, when will she let go of the binkie, will she ever stop napping--god NO!-- and if so what in the world will we do with all of this time?--oh yeah, preschool--duh!-, and the biggest worry of the day, how will I get her to open her mouth for the dentist without drugging her?***

When will I learn to remember that all things happen naturally? When will I ever stop worrying about 'what's next' in the grand scheme of growing and maturing? Yeah I know, when hell freezes over, I just may get a good worry-free night of sleep. In the meantime I have my blog, my health club, and the forever best friend--Skittles!--to keep me company during my times of stress.

I could just give it to God knowing He has the final say anyway, but I don't have that much Mom-confidence to announce that to the neighborhood moms as my daughter runs around with her bunny bear on the back of her bike.

But I can just say, "Today I am letting her be," and maybe even inspire another mom to chill out a little. Hmm, maybe I should take my own advice!

***Seriously, I need some tricks for the dentist. I am completely against child 'doping' (TWO dentists have told me this is the only other option if is doesn't open up herself-TWO!), but I understand the importance of dental hygiene (especially since I have more than just one cavity right now because of my lack of dental visits and strange immature love for skittles) and have absolutely no idea how to do this one.
I am very anxious because A. I do not want my soon-to-be 4 year old to have to have a root canal on a little baby tooth and B. she grinds her teeth at night- BADLY- and I am really concerned about that. This is one of the reasons I still allow the binkie--she doesn't grind when it's in her mouth.

OK, so if anyone knows of anything I would love the suggestions. I really need some help here.
Have a great weekend! Thanks for playing!

PSF: My sad little Dorothy and a GIANT life-lesson

This has got to be the saddest picture I have ever taken. Not because she's not adorable in her new Halloween costume, because she totally is, but because Sophie is just so sad behind that smile. I can't think about it too much, or I start to cry. Sophie isn't really smiling here. She's smiling through very real tears. She was trying to put on a brave face--because her mommy was mad at her. My heart is seriously breaking.

For the past week or two, anytime Sophie doesn't get what she wants, she starts to cry and walks away and has a 'mini' fit. She doesn't throw herself down and have full-blown temper tantrums, but she makes 'mad' faces and clenches her fists and goes and sits away from me or whoever is bothering her. She's not asking for help-or simply choosing something else-and her frustration is truly getting the best of her.

In this picture, Sophie was so sad because she was comparing her shoes (which were 2 sizes too big) to the giant pumpkin on the window. She was trying to tell me how big they were on her feet-like how big the pumpkin looked on the window. I was so focused on trying to take her picture in her new costume that I got confused about what in the world she was talking about and really upset her. Her frustration thresh-hold is unusually low and it took me some time to figure out that my frustration thresh-hold is even lower than hers.
Thankfully, I am finally aware of it. Whenever I encounter a parenting problem -in any area -I consult my smart love book. It reminded me that when my child is frustrated I need to react with loving regulation and comfort until the frustration subsides--not anger or withdrawal of my love and attention-and certainly not harsh words and consequences~that's demeaning. Only in this way can she learn how to deal with life's ups and downs while simultaneously experiencing the esteem-boosting type of loving relationship she has with me at all times. Otherwise I run the risk of teaching her that I want her to be upset when she gets frustrated with others OR that her frustrated feelings are OK--when in fact they are not. They are normal, but not OK--I sure don't want her to walk around frustrated all the time.

Well, you know what I have been doing lately?

Sophie: Mommy, I want more candy!

Me: Sorry Sophie-you'll get a tummyache.

Then -- when she cries I get all mad that she isn't understanding and accepting. Ew. I get mad because she is mad. This is just when she is upset. When I'm frustrated? Um, I clench my fists, make my mean face and stomp away. Seriously! Holy cow! I am the one crying over the spilled milk--because I'm the one who has to clean it up! I am acting and dealing with frustration exactly like my 3 year old. How do I know this? Because she is simply doing what I'm doing. She's my little mirror. I'm not handling frustration well at all lately--and I am teaching her how NOT to handle it. She just may be more emotionally mature than her own mother.

So, the lesson here? Stop taking pictures when Sophie is crying. No really. I need to get a grip, take a chill pill, or have a drink for God's sake! What in the world am I taking life so seriously for? From now on it is my goal NOT to show bad examples of dealing with frustration to Sophie. I WILL show her what is a big deal and what isn't and the appropriate responses to both. I WILL change my reactions. After all, it is just milk-and it can always be cleaned up.

I WILL give her my love and comfort--even when I'm not giving her that ice cream cone she's crying for-or that toy that she desperately wants to play with. I bet she stops freaking out. I bet she learns that no matter what she get the best of me-as much as she needs. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

It sure has been a crazy couple of weeks!

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