Thursday 13: I am officially CRAZY!

Since he was a small kid, my husband has been going to the same cabin getaway in the north woods Chetek, WI every year. It is a very 'boy' place meaning you get dirty, sweaty, swim (and for some bathe--EW) in the lake, sit around a fire at night, and work on the cabin when needed, and of course-lots of fishing. Nate has always adored going to this cabin with his family, and since we've been married has said that he couldn't wait to bring his own kids there.

The only problem? Me. We stayed at a house on a lake once in WI when I was a kid--and you know something? Ick. It sucked. We only did that once. Absolutely HATED it. After that the closest I got to 'roughing it' out in the country was having to stay at a hotel outside of Disney World instead of inside the park. Seriously, we were just not a Swiss Family Robinson kind of family unless we were actually standing in the tree next to the Pirates of the Caribbean exhibit, eating chocolate-covered Mickey Mouse ears.

So you can imagine how different an experience being up in WI is for me. I had been there once after we were married for a year, and I had sworn then that I wouldn't go back. Not because it's a bad place or anything, it's just not a vacation for me-too much work--too much 'boy' stuff and ickiness.

But, I decided last week to just bring Sophie up there and get it over with. He has been talking about taking Sophie since the day she was born. Fine. Nate left on Wednesday with his 3 brothers, mother, and nephew and I decided that on Friday, Sophie, Jack and I would surprise him. We had found a hotel with a vacancy so I was going to get my internet access and air conditioning, and Nate was going to get to share everything he loves about this town with Sophie. Jack just loves the cabin, the water, and Gamma's black lab-Bella. So I thought everyone would win.

Wrong.

13 Reasons I SHOULDN'T have joined my husband on a fishing trip.

1. MONEY ISSUES: (isn't $ always an issue?) I had told Nate that if his bonus checks arrived with enough time for me to book a hotel, we would drive up. We were expecting 2 bonus checks and BOTH of them were late. Really late. BOTH of them! I should have seen this as an ominous sign NOT to go. I should have-but didn't. This wouldn't have been a big deal, except that I refused to drive 6 hours without an ample supply of emergency money in the checkbook-so I couldn't even make my decision to go until the last minute and this is not the kind of trip you can spontaneously pick up and leave-especially with a 3 year old and her BIG dog too.

2. TEMPER TANTRUMS: (what???not my kid!) Sophie was not having a good time shopping and prepping for the trip. We went to Walmart to buy kid-friendly-car-snacks and bring some extra food for when we were up north. Unfortunately, Sophie thought this was another fun shopping spree with mommy and actually threw her first official temper tantrum in the middle of the store-over a Snow White doll. I was stunned. Really. I just stood there. For like 5 minutes! I had no idea what to do. Finally, I just grabbed her and tried like mad to distract her. I finally did with another toy (a little barbie hair dryer to replace her broken one) I had no intention of buying. By the time we got to the checkout line though I had managed to get her happy enough to accept that when we go see her daddy, he will most likely buy her something (like maybe a dolly)-so she happily put back the bribe toy I had given her. That's my girl. She's usually very reasonable when it comes to toys--so you can imagine my surprise when she threw a fit. Just another sign I shouldn't have been preparing for this trip.

3. BROKEN AIR CONDITIONER: -oh this was fun -in 85 degree weather with 90% humidity. I took a picture of the ice ball and water dripping and emailed my dad to see if I could fix it myself--with none other than some extra tape and a little time to defrost. Turns out you are supposed to replace the filters on your furnace. Oops. Missed that one. So, once the unit is defrosted, a new filter in place should do the trick. Nope-it didn't. Or so I thought, but really hadn't defrosted the entire thing. So, on Friday, the day I was trying to leave, I had to postpone leaving to wait for the fix-it guy. He came first thing in the morning only to say that he needed to come back in the afternoon once it completely thawed out. Well, long story short, he told me that his little $88 service call needed to turn into a $625 big repair job that they wouldn't be able to do until the following week because of the Labor day holiday. What? NIGHTMARE! So no air over a very hot weekend? EW. I just turned it off. Yeah. I took it as a sign TO go, but once it defrosted it was OK. No big fix needed. So had I stayed home I would have known this by Friday evening and spent a delightful long weekend playing with Sophie. The house was a delicious 85 DEGREES when we got home Monday night. So much fun! At least I was able to cancel the big repair as we have not frozen yet and now it looks like the weather is taking a turn for the Fall! Whoohoo!

4. BROKEN CAR PARTS: The driver's side door lock on my truck broke. I simply ignored it--to overwhelmed at this point. Totally blew it off. It's still broken.

5. LONG CAR RIDES: The ride up was OK, but took way longer than the 6 hours expected so we didn't arrive until almost 10:30PM. Sophie and I jammed tunes, sang songs and ate goldfish and twizzlers--soooooo our thing. It wasn't too bad. I thought the car ride home would even be better because we would be joined by daddy, but by the end of the trip Nate and I were hardly speaking AND my IPOD roadtrip player broke. We rode home in silence. Oh, and we hit Labor Day traffic. 8 hours in the car ----- sigh.

6. SMOKEY HOTELS: The hotel I booked only had a smoking room available and I didn't think it would be a big deal since I wouldn't actually be smoking but holy cow was it the grossest smelling room in.the.world!

7. EMOTIONAL MELTDOWNS: Sophie cried EVERY night, big boo-hoo tears because she wanted to sleep, and I quote, "at home where I belong!" Poor thing was soooooo sad that all of her dollies were home alone without her. The first night there was no consoling her until she finally fell asleep around 1:30AM! The second and third nights were a little better, but there were still lots of tears. I never anticipated that. Who knew?

8. CABIN CHAOS: The cabin that Nate and company stay in is owned by his mom's aunt and everyone pitches in to help around the house. The cabin itself just made me cranky--there were so many little messes laying around (unorganized boy stuff) --and there were so many people staying in one small place. UGH. With one bathroom. I could barely stand it. (oh--and my mother in law was there! -bless her heart-she's a great gamma to Sophie, but I have no business going on vacation with her--we just don't have that kind of relationship. I'm whispering this she doesn't hear me say "that which is supposed to stay unsaid.")

9. NON-LISTENING PRESCHOOLERS: Sophie loves playing with her cousin, but would not listen to a word either of us said. That got on my nerves BIG time because Sophie has always been a really good listener--but when she saw that her cousin was allowed to do things, she thought it was OK for her too. No, you can not throw shoes in the lake, you MUST wear a life jacket when in the water, on the dock, and on the boat ALWAYS!, and you can't just get naked whenever you feel like it. These are just some of the things she tried to get away with. Sorry, none of this was going to work for me-but unfortunately I was the only one who thought it was a big deal. I guess men really do think differently from women.

10. PRIVATE CABINS: We checked out of the stinky hotel after that horrible first night and found a cozy little private cabin located on the lake at a local resort. The owner was a very nice guy from Chicago and let us rent for just a couple of nights, instead of the usual week you were supposed to book. Well. The nice-ness stopped there. I lost air conditioning and internet access when we made the switch. (I REALLY missed my blog and more importantly my fave blogs I read) I also lost housekeeping services, towels in the bathroom, and ice and vending machines. Oh, and we lost the king bed which means Nate and I had to sleep in separate rooms. Rockin' good times.

11. NO HAPPY PILLS: I had forgotten my medications at home. Not a huge deal because they are not the life-supporting kind--but still medications just the same and I had to endure almost 4 days without them-at a time when I really needed them most. One of them is so I am happy and the other is so I don't eat the world. I don't mind saying -- I was the crankiest pig on the planet. so much fun.

12. SMELLY DOG: We tried to wash Jack the best we could because the lake made him smell like 3 day old road kill, but we didn't do a great job. I now understand what the 'unbearable smell from the back seat' is like when you take a family road trip. Ew. Let me say that again--EW! His collar smelled like rotten hot fish feet and he is now shedding by the buckets. I have to vacuum twice a day. GROSS!!!!!!!!!!

13. CHORES --TO GO HOME? You don't just get to pack your bags and leave. You have to empty garbage and take out recycling. That was just at the resort. THEN we had to go back to the cabin so Nate could help out before leaving. His mother was finishing up painting the boat house (!!!), his brothers were vacuuming and cleaning, (2 of them were still sleeping) and Sophie and Jamey were trying to go swimming one last time-making my head about to explode. Now, the day before I had asked if we could take anything home since we had so much room in the truck, but never got an answer until AFTER I had packed our car. Now I had to re-pack the car to fit not 1 but 2 golf bags. grrrrr. I ended up throwing half of Nate's clothes in the dirt while I re-arranged--only to realize that I am the one to do laundry when we get home, so I actually only created more work for myself. It was this childish behavior of mine that caused my dear hubby not to speak to me for the first 3 hours of the SiLENT trip home. (remember the broken ipod?) Good times!

So there it is-13 reasons I shouldn't have gone. But I went anyway. ?. God tried everything to get me to stay home--looking back the signs were incredibly clear and I missed every single one. ***Big. Giant. Sigh.*** I, AGAIN, swear I will never go back. Ever. From this moment forward my husband has my blessing to go fishing without me whenever he feels the need. I will happily stay home and go shopping.
Wow, it feels good to get all of this out of my system. NOW--- I do have some good parts to the trip, so from now on I will focus on those when I speak of Chetek. I have lots of pictures to show--it was a very beautiful place--to look at, not live in (for me) and I had a great time on the boat. More on all of the good stuff soon.

Thursday 13: Boost Mom-Confidence & Wife-Esteem

Lately, I've been telling myself that I don't have time to do the things I love and enjoy because my 'responsibilities' are more important. As if in my own head other stuff needs to come before me --like cleaning and cooking. Um, yeah--don't think so. Now, I have no problems putting Sophie ahead of me, and when necessary Nate too, but to put washing a floor or folding laundry ahead of what makes me--me? No way! Yeah, I am quickly-but not soon enough-correcting this thinking. So, here's something that has been on my mind lately as I begin to wind down after ONE.CRAZY.SUMMER!

1. TELL MYSELF I'M GREAT! No kidding. Each night before bed I make sure to tell Sophie how fantastic I think she is, (read about that here) and each morning I do the same for myself. I have a personal "ME" journal where I write all the good stuff I can think of. This way I can start each day with a reason to be happy-with myself. It is VERY easy for me to forget ME when praying about how grateful I am for things. I really think it helps me to be a better mom: more patient, tolerant, kind, understanding, and loving. So like in the movie Enchanted, should I be asked, "Do I like myself?" I will honestly be able to reply, "What's not to like?"

2. TALK LIKE A BAD A*S IN THE CAR WHEN SOMETHING GOES WRONG. This sounds stupid, but seriously, I'm a big chicken when it comes to telling people off, so I pretend I get the chance when I'm in the car. This way I can voice my authority and superiority (even though I know I don't have any) over the little twit who couldn't bag the groceries right causing the bag to rip when entering the car. This avoids my becoming that grumpy, mean lady at the store--you know, like the one who pitches a fit when her peaches don't ring up for the sale price and holds up 5 people in line for 15 minutes over a whopping $.30. Yeah, you know the one. So I can be nice, cheerful, and understanding in the store, and still get to b*tch about it, without hurting feelings-while acting like a bad chick who doesn't put up with nonsense. This totally makes me feel somehow~~ powerful?? Sounds weird, but so true.

3. TEACH SOPHIE SOMETHING NEW. Nothing makes me feel more confident as a mom than seeing Sophie accomplish a brand new task, learn a new skill, or simply have a 'light bulb' moment. Last night while she was playing with her foam letters in the bathtub, she finally realized that a group of letters make up a word! WHOOHOO for reading! Anyway, she said, "Look Mommy, I spelled the word cup! ZCDAPTU!!!:) A little bit of work on the particulars and she'll be reading in no time--WHOOHOO for Sophie! See? I totally rock!;)

4. SING LIKE A ROCK STAR. No matter where I am, or who I am with, singing ALWAYS makes me feel good. Sometimes it's the songs I listen to, sometimes it's the people hearing me sing well that makes me feel good, and sometimes it's just the simple act of doing anything other than cleaning that makes me feel good. Singing rocks!

5. EXERCISE. Ugh. Had to put this on the list. As hard as it is to admit, and even harder to actually start doing, I ALWAYS feel great about myself, like I can 'conquer-the-world' great, after a rock star round of TAE-BO, or a marathon race on the elliptical. (The treadmill is officially stupid and will be ignored by me indefinitely.)

6. DAYDREAM. Sometimes it's fun to just let my mind wander, relax, and think about the impossible or unimaginable happening-(like winning 10 mil in the lottery) and what life is like if it happened. Lately I've been daydreaming about Sophie becoming an Olympian--in every sport of course and what our life looks like that way. I always feel so inspired when I think about the possibilities in front of us that it actually gives me a little boost in creativity-and a little zest in our family life. The other night a bunch of us ROARed with laughter daydreaming about what the U.S. Diving team would look like if Nate and his best friend Chris were the new duo for synchronized diving! (you had to be there)

7. READ SPIRITUAL BOOKS. In addition to my "me" journal, I also like to read a little something uplifting everyday. For the past two years, my husband and I have been reading Joel Osteen books-a couple of pages a day and talking about them each morning before we start our day. It's how 'connect' on a mental and spiritual level to keep our marriage as strong as possible. Our morning time (while Sophie is still sleeping) is my favorite part of the day (as a wife) because we get to focus on us as a couple whether we are talking about God, or ourselves, or our parenting. It's nice.

8. LEARN SOMETHING NEW. I'm a nut for learning, so every couple of months or so I like to tackle new projects and teach myself something in the areas I like to play in --like digital scrap booking, html codes, or preschool activities and crafts. The new ones I am starting soon are photography (once I buy the new camera) and homeschooling 'Montessori' style for preschool. Learning new things help to remind me that I have purpose in this world-and I also have lots to contribute to it.

9. PLAY LIKE A 3 YEAR OLD. This might be my favorite way to stay confident as a wife, mother, and even a woman. There is nothing more exciting to me than going to the zoo and having a hot pretzel while oogling the silly polar bears, and then heading off to the petting zoo to laugh my head off when the donkey starts squawking and makes me jump ten feet. OR- eating giant lollipops while wearing a silly hat on my head and watching the Wizard of Oz. Or taking a bike ride stopping at all of the parks in the neighborhood pretending that Sophie is the princess and I am the queen. Yesterday I had to be the evil queen. nice. When we got home though I felt really satisfied that I spend great quantity and quality time with Sophie and even though I hadn't even brushed her hair that morning I was still one-great-mom!

10. SPEND GOOD QUALITY TIME WITH HUBBY. We try to take time for 'just us' in addition to our morning talks to laugh and play like only married couples can. It's always fun to be together and last weekend we got a reminder of how much fun we have when we went to a White Sox game--it was awesome. We don't get a lot of this kind of time anymore, but we certainly appreciate it and know that it is a vital part of our lives together.

11. EAT HEALTHY FOOD. I've discovered that what makes my taste buds happy, almost always makes my tummy (and mood) icky. Twizzlers even has a commercial out there, 'makes mouths happy' but they neglect to mention what candy does to the rest of the body. So, healthy food for confidence. Easier said then done. BUT, if I am eating it, there's a good shot that my family will too. That makes me feel like a better mom, you know what I mean? (Even though a bag of carrots will never taste as good as a bag of chips, they certainly make me feel good!)

12. MAKE A TOUGH DECISION AND STICK TO IT. I didn't learn this one until Sophie was born. I learned that once a decision for my family was made, I had to make it my own and not compare to others. This was tough, but it really helped me to understand the 'what works for us' mentality especially in the parenting and married arenas. I was able to not only make the decisions, but not regret them as well; I choose to bottle feed instead of nurse; I choose to use smart love parenting over the other more popular types; I choose co-sleep (and still do btw); I recently made the decision to home school preschool for one more year. These were all very hard decisions to make. I've made even tougher ones with my marriage, but for the sake of post-length I won't divulge all of them. It really helps my confidence and esteem to know that I choose the things I choose for very specific reasons-no matter who agrees or disagrees. I really like 'what works for us!'

13. PRAY. I decided to put this one last because I think it's the most important. While I am not a religious person, I do believe in God, and I believe a relationship with God is incredibly important for long term health and happiness. Some people like to go to church, some people like to pray before a meal, some people get on their knees by the sides of their beds at night, and some people pray whenever and wherever. I'm in that last category, but mostly I pray in the mornings and I try to stick to what I am grateful for. An attitude of gratitude can help me through the rough, boring, happy, mundane, exhausting, scary, hysterical, and crazy parts of life-pretty much keep me seated while riding this never-ending roller coaster. When I am close to God, I am a better person all around-thus helping me be a better mom and wife.

So, there it is-some of the things that make me the mom and wife I am today. Just thought I'd share. I can't wait for this non-structured, hazy, lazy, crazy days of summer to come to an end. It happens every year right around this time that I have officially had ENOUGH! I want my schedule back!